*
X,
Quick! Say “MUTE”!
You hear that? That sound that you’re not hearing, is the
next annoying song that they’ll play way too much on the radio.
This card
has just altered the universe so that you’ll never hear it!
I know! There should be more cards like this.
Happy Birthday!
*
X,
Happy
Birthday! It took me ten thousand years to find it, but I managed to unearth
this very special present for you.
This card
can practice guitar for you!
It
just can’t play it.
Happy Birthday!
*
X,
Seeing as how your birthday is coming up, I thought long and
hard about the ideal present.
And as
popular as the usual gifts are – confetti, cake-shaped cars, and flying llamas –
I figured you deserved something revolutionary.
Like this card. Because who ever heard of a birthday card?
Happy Birthday!
*
X,
I figured
the best thing to do for your birthday was to make you my patented
Birthday Stew
Special!
Hot Fudge for sweetness
Asparagus for some roughage
Baked Beans for fiber
Eggs for protein
Strawberries for antioxidants
A lime for vitamin C
Bottled sunlight for vitamin D and a
nice tan
And a dash
of Cayenne Pepper for clear sinuses
Happy Birthday!
*
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