Stuff Has Feelings Too

You know the feeling you get when your computer keeps on crashing? When your pencil punches a hole in your test? When your red shirt dyes everything in the washer pink? When the toaster burns your toast?

Life can be rough when you count a major appliance as your enemy. But even though giving an inanimate object human characteristics is fun and provides excellent stress relief, I thought it'd be fun to see what would happen if we took the idea just a tiny bit further.

This story clocked in at 260 words, so I'm aiming to put out some more material for you guys soon.

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Material

“I don’t think it’s too much to ask.” Donny ran his hand through his hair and paced in front of the dining room table.

“I’ve invested in this relationship, okay. I’ve spent time with you. I’ve been supportive. I’ve been affectionate.”

He stopped and thrust his jaw at the sky, “Who gave you a UV protective coating? Who has,” he put a hand on the edge of the table, “buffed each of your delicate contours?”

His bloodshot eyes rolled to watch the center of the table.

“It was me.”

“And the only thing I have ever asked is that you hold my coffee!”

He held his breath as he shrugged, “That’s it. Just, you know, hang on to it for a while.”

“A lot of mugs would appreciate what an easy life you have.”

“But do I get any thanks? No. You betray my trust."

"And on Darlene! She's such a beautiful shag carpet. I love Darlene.”

Donny pulled out his Smith and Wesson 460XVR. “I’m sorry. I thought we could work things out. But you’ve betrayed me for the last time.”

A tear slid down his face as he pulled the trigger. The barrel roared with flame and smoke, and the mug shattered, the table cracked in half, and the bullet pounded a small crater past the linoleum and into the concrete foundation beneath it.

Donny fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. “Why would you make me do this?”

“You were the world to me.”

*